A Letter of Divine Arsenic
I smell the faint scent of bitter almonds.
And feel a tad bit scared.
Dear Jane Austen,
From the most professional stance, I would like to apologize sincerely for giving you that medication for your joint pain. How was I to know arsenic would kill you? With the time machine my colleague created, I have traveled forth in time in order to find the true performance of arsenic! All for you, my dear. And the couple dozen other patients I provided medicine to… That’s beside the point though. Miss Austen, I am now in a world of strange clothes and romantic affairs obtained by making one’s hair appear as a rather questionable bird. There are buildings taller than you could ever imagine, odd devices gentlemen and ladies stare at, and yell into! The language is rather appalling, and I’ve yet to meet one nearly as well-versed as yourself. I have found after sneaking around in an endless amount of doctoral facilities that arsenic is quite, quite dangerous. But you should already know that, good heavens… I mean… Bloody hell. I mean… Oh my, I’ve yet again let my words get the best of me. Please forgive me for my insolence! As well as my crude wording. Returning to our previous topic, arsenic is said to affect the interrupt the process of energy-making. This may defy what you believe in, but it’s also quite difficult to believe that you may read letters when you are dead. Your brain, and heart system, were eventually disrupted by the collective mass of arsenic built up in your system. Yet again, my apologies… If caught early, you might have survived! Pray don’t think of me as imprudent… There is a purely delightful idea referred to as ATP. Rather endearing how blunt and lazy the people of these days are. It is adenosine triphosphate! Magical name, is it not? It amazes me, as a talented doctor, to think that others could be more wise than me and come up with such a nonsensical name! It travels through pathways as if through roads. Arsenic seems to block this, and lead to organ failure. Amazing, is it not? Imagine all the damage one could do with arsenic, and- Yet again I have spoken too much… To say it frankly, your bits of energy were all used up and hurt, making it so you could perform not even the simplest functions. Now that you know that, I must show you something else that I learned! This is called a “smiley” as if it were a smiling face. 🙂 Quite remarkable! Yet again, please forgive me. Use the smiley well, it has much power.
As Mr. Darcy would say, I love you most ardently. Take care Miss Austen!
Sincerely, Your Doctor.